Getaway

Get me out. Help me out. Help! Help! Every day is the same. Hatred. Loathing. Lust. School. Homework. Bed. Every day. I need out. Help me out.

Right turn. Left turn. Straight for six blocks. Sharp left. Down an alley. Towards the river. No. Not there. Parking lot next to the shore. The tears have been rolling since I put the key in the ignition. It isn’t supposed to be this way. I put it in park and toss the keys onto the passenger seat. The river has risen several feet in the last hour. Flash flood warnings an hour in every direction. I see shapes floating through the water, logs and old bicycles. The windshield is covered with raindrops. My vision is blurry. The water reminds me of an angry rap song. Confused. Hurt. Continually moving, looking for something. Lost.

I rest my head on the steering wheel, sobbing under my breath. This isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I wrap my arms around my torso, holding myself together, fearing I might explode. I have to go. I need to go my own way.

I will always love you. I write on an old receipt in imperfect cursive, letting the tears fall freely. I unroll the window, and let the receipt be swept away by the windy rainstorm raging all around me. Strange, I think. I didn’t think it would be like this. I feel so… calm. Amongst all the calamity of the world, I feel in control of myself. I’m broken, but not afraid.
Taking the permanent marker still in my hand, I write a list of names on the headrest of my passenger seat. Mom. Dad. Allen. Diana.Delane. Karen. Robin. Hallee. Tori. Jacob. These are people I love and cherish dearly. I write to remember.

I put the key in the ignition and turn on the windshield wipers. The storm is letting up significantly. Running my fingers through my hair, I check my reflection in the mirror. My hair is ratty from the wind, what I can see of my shirt is wet and wrinkled. My eyes are red and bloodshot, but as I look closer into them, I see something else. Strength.

I begin driving. To where doesn’t really matter. On the tank I have now I can probably make it to Oklahoma City, and then from there I can get down to the coast. That’s what I need. The ocean; the soothing power of the water. I reach back into my backseat to get something to eat. I didn’t plan this. I have two granola bars, a banana, and a bottle of water, along with a physics textbook and a dollar sixty-five in change. The only clothes I have are on my back. I’ll have to stop at the ATM before they realize I’m gone. Money is no issue. I’ve been saving up for college for almost a year, I’ll simply use that. College can wait. This getaway has to happen now.

I get onto the turnpike and head south, mind blank, my reflexes taking over. It’s just driving. I’ve done it a thousand times before. My eyes turn to a raven, flying with the nice tail wind, a little slower than me. He swoops down onto a low branch above a swelling ditch, and seems to look straight at me.

Then all goes black.

First sound comes back. Just a faint sound. A beep I identify as an E flat, my brain coming alert with the sharpness of the sound. The next sense that I regain is feeling. Between my fingers I feel a cord, no thicker than a pencil, but thicker than a necklace chain. Is it made out of rubber? I try to open my eyes, but the light is too bright. I open them slowly, squinting, then half open. The thing in my arm is maybe made out of rubber, maybe plastic. It’s an IV tube, sticking into my arm. I open my mouth and scream, but no sound comes out. A breathing mask is covering my face. I try to turn my head, and feel a dull pain in my neck. I look at my hand, my brain telling my fingers to move. They move slowly, and without much control. I must be on some sort of drugs.

I make a small moaning sound, searching for someone, anyone, who might be able to hear me. Out of my blurry peripheral vision I see a glimpse of red as my mother comes in front of me, taking my hand. “Katelyn?” She whispers, her facial expression a mixture of joy and relief. “Can you hear me?” I moan once more, squeezing her fingers. Tears flow from her eyes, and I see another figure come into view. It’s my dad, followed by a crowd of other people. I see one push to the front. “Katelyn.” That familiar voice says. Jacob takes my other hand. His eyes are puffy, the shoulders of his shirt covered with tearstains. I see the silhouettes of Robin and Tori in the background, wiping their noses, holding each other’s hands as they smile half-heartedly at me, Hallee standing behind them, strong as ever, supporting the group in my absence. I turn my head so I can focus on each individual face in the room. Dad, Allen and Karen stand in the corner to my right, Mom, Delane, and Diana right next to them. Diana’s face is pale, her eyes wide. I’m her older sister, I’m invincible. Why am I in this place?

I look around past the people and see bright colors of red and yellow I make out to be flowers. On the tray that they feed you on is a stack of cards. I can say nothing. Tears fall down my cheeks. Somebody heard my cries for help. Somebody cares.

so, this is me feeling trapped.



She opened her eyes, slowly, trying to let her pupils adjust. Her head was throbbing, she sat up slowly and tilted a little trying to stretch out her back. She looked around the room then picked up her stuffed bear and kissed it… All morning the only thing she could hear was her heart beat in her ears, it was pounding like it wanted to be released from the confinement of her skull, like it just wanted to ooze out and expand. By this time, she was eating Tylenol like candy, one every hour or so and the pain was still consistent.

She sat in the school parking lot, watching it slowly empty of mustangs and POS’s. Her head was still pounding, hard as ever, and constantly in one spot. Swallow. “One more Tylenol, I’ll call mom on the way home.” She turned the car on and let it run for a couple seconds, she touched the radio to turn it on but left it, reached for the air conditioner, pressed the button down numerous times and then backed out of her normal parking spot. Driving slowly, stop and go, everything started to tunnel in, slowly, she could only see little glimpses of things. She pulled over, gagging and heaving, opened the door and doubled over out the side of her car, she leaned back into the car and prayed just as everything faded to black.

She jump started awake, vomiting violently, it tasted like acid, tylenol coating, and tar. She lurched forward a couple times with no result, she lay back down and gingerly felt at the bed looking for her bear. "Where is that fucking thing?!" she wanted to yell but all that came out was silence. She opened her eyes, completely unaccustomed to the new brightness that flooded her vision. It smelled stale, of despair and bleach. She looked around the room, it was a small, white, tiled room, hospital like but not completely. She heard a pair of familiar voices, matched with equally familiar footsteps. In they came, mom and dad. They smiled vacantly at her and took a seat at the little family waiting area, grave faces set in...

"Tumor." This can't be happening. I'm dying. And i've never been so calm.

Iloveyou Tori.